You think you know, but you don't. You can't even imagine. I can't even imagine and it was my life!!!!! You walk in around in all your human pride and you say stupid stuff like, "I would never do that,", or "What could they possibly be thinking,", or "They are just weak minded," and various other ridiculous statements about the human condition and what you assume someone else is going through. I'm not holding anything back with this one assume makes an ass of you and me. You have no idea what you are talking about unless you have been there.
I got strung out, my glamorous life as a stripper ended because it was okay for the girls to snort and sell all kinds of dope but crack is totally unacceptable. I was making $1200 to $1800 goofing off, weighed every bit of 108 pounds soaking wet, was being lied to by the mirror every time I looked in it, I lived in room 333 of the Ramada with two dogs, humpteen dozen cats (18 if the time line is right), my son and any other crack head that needed to sleep. I got so drunk at the bar, having my wonderful good time and making money, that I went to the dope man as soon as I got off work, and no matter how much money I made the night before I was flat ass broke by day light. I had to have my medicine, because that was the only reason I was living life, right?
When I left they called me scum, white trash, those f'ing crackheads, anything but my name.
After that I went to live in the dug out at a baseball field in a nearby park and no one bothered me until baseball season started because of the black labs I kept locked up with my stuff. Even when baseball season started no one told me I had to leave or called the police on me, because hell, I knew the police, I just left out of shame.
One Tuesday morning, before all of this happened, I laid down to sleep around 10:30 in the morning, you know just to get the energy for my second wind. I didn't wake up until Saturday morning after two in the morning and my dogs were so happy to see me I figure they thought I had died and the people around me were just leaving me there. My son later told me Michelle came in and put a mirror in front of my face to make sure I was still breathing and I hadn't even slept walked or gotten up to go to the bathroom during all of that time.
There are so many stories I can tell you but the gist of it is never ever think you know that you know unless it's about God and He told you, because you don't.
I'm not going to go into my entire testimony because I have a book I wrote for that and you can get a copy if you ask me for it and give me your email, but the bottom line is God loved me, He watched out for me, He brought me out and He has been walking with me ever since. I don't care what you are going through, I don't care how low point you think you've reached, He is there, He is waiting, He loves you, He made you, all you have to do is speak up and talk with HIM. I am not ashamed of who I used to be, of where I've come from and I want other people to look at my life and think they can have the same thing, because they can!!!!! I'm not special, but my Father loves me, He protected me, He watched over me, He allowed me to go through everything I've experienced from then until today so I can give Him all the glory for saving me, for delivering me, for every breath I take and He is good!!!!! RIDE OR DIE!!! WWB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Get you some, it's your's for the asking!
