The Game, Honor And Respect For Yourself

There's a saying in the streets, "The game was made to be bought and sold."  There's a lot of sayings in the streets.  The streets where I come from they tell you you aren't leaving unless it's in a body bag.

I've bought and sold the game.  I've been bought and sold in the game.

The game is lame.

It's let me see how I can get over on you so I can score for myself.  It's let me see how I can trick you to get what I want.  It's let me see just how dumb you  might be so I can use you up and toss you away.

Give me $5 I'll go get her for you.

Yeah, whatever.

They are still out there right this second playing the game, some of the same players I used to know.  Same dope boys on the same corners selling the same stuff thinking they are better than everyone else.

Sex is not love, it can be bought, it has a price, just depends on what they are charging.

Others play the game too, same game, different details.

I'm not her anymore and I won't compromise who I am for anyone, no matter how charming, how handsome or what kind of smooth game he thinks he's talking.

I'm much  more special than that.

I'm freakin smarter than that.

What I bring to the table is more special than that.

I married my husband because I wasn't going to just lay up with someone.  He'll tell you I made him marry me.  LOL.  Well, I did.  

He showed up on my doorstep two years after I left the streets, said he had no where to go, he loved me and could he stay with me.  I had his butt at the courthouse in no time, because there are a lot of things I have done in this lifetime, but one of them will never be displeasing my Father.

I think back to that time, not knowing the God I know today, not knowing all the things I've learned and how nothing can separate me from His love.

I'm here to tell you I'm still not going to lay up with someone.

You do what you want to do but not this girl.

I bring a lot to the table, I'm worth investing time in, I'm worth being chased and pursued and loved.

If all you came for was to get laid, you were totally wasting your time with me in the first place.  I quit playing with boys when I left the streets.

I want a man.

A man who has his own, a man whose got goals and a heart for God.  A man doing more than trying to please himself.

I can only speak from my own perspective and experience so don't get it twisted.

I'm not judging anybody it's just not for me.

I'm not perfect or even claiming to be, but I do have self control and I want more from life.

It still makes me cringe to know my own downfalls.

Anyone that knows me knows there is no shame in my game, I'm just as human as the next person, I want love too.

Sex is not love.

Love is an investment, honor, respect, friendship set on fire.

If you only made him chase you to the bedroom, you cheated yourself.

My Daddy has been romancing me since the beginning of the year, His love is so awesome and amazing, no man could even come close:  a million men couldn't come close.

I am a precious and cherished daughter.  I'm too valuable to be handing myself out to everyone that comes along, or just anyone that comes along.  I have purpose and destiny.  I have things to do, places to see, miracles to witness and a love affair to have with my Father.

It's better than any love affair I've ever had.

He honors me.  He pursues me to the deepest darkest places of my life.  He reminds me I am enough, I am too valuable to give myself to someone He didn't send.  I am so much more than sex.

When there's no love attached to it it's highly overrated and fake.  When there's fake love attached to it, it's betrayal.

I've learned to respect myself, to honor myself, to bask in my Father's love.

I've learned to be with someone and to be alone.

I've learned to honor others and share my life's story with them.

I've learned to celebrate great victories over the past.

I've learned to be friends with other women and build them up rather than tearing them down.

I've learned so much, even in the last year.

I'd rather be alone and bask in my Father's love than waste a second on someone who is only pursuing me so they can have someone to sleep with.

I am so much more.

I want a man that's so much more.

I can stand alone or I can be matched, but I will not just give the best parts of myself away to anyone that comes along singing love songs.

I'd rather spend the rest of my life doing what I do and hanging out with my Daddy, alone, if that's what He has for me, than some half ass guy who claims he loves me.

You can't trick me because I'm grown.

You can take what I've given you and throw it away but that's on you.  Still didn't give you the everything and especially not the best parts.

The game is lame, love honors and when you respect yourself, you aren't willing to fall for the game or someone who has no intention of honoring you , knowing they are just trying to get what they want.

Sex is not love, you can sell it, you can buy it, you can destroy your life and your heart with it.

It's not worth it.

There's so much more to life than that.

Invite the misfits

I love the misfits, the one's standing on the outside looking in.  The ones who feel left out because they aren't in the cool click.  The ones willing to do something when no one else is.  The ones whose hearts are so on fire and hungry for something, once they've got hold of it they'll never let go.

Invite the misfits.

That's the war cry of Renegades of Grace Ministries.

We are supposed to be united, one body, but unfortunately there are a lot of things in this world that are not as they should be.

I can't live a life of church and work and sleep, I've got to have more, I'm asking God for more.  I want to do more, see more, and be more.

God has been growing my crew and man oh man they are really something else!  They are dedicated, want to do anything and everything necessary and they are so much more than the cool click.

I love their hearts, their drive and that willingness.  I need them and all the wonderful qualities they bring to the table.  I need more souls like them because it's so much bigger than all of us.

For some reason showing up a disease for others, no matter how often you invite them, they aren't going to show up and they aren't going to invite you to their stuff either.  It's alright, it's not a big deal.  I'm not scared to stand alone and neither are any of them, because God makes us able to do all we do.  Those who choose not to are the one's really missing out.  You can't sleep on your purpose or you live a life unfulfilled..  If you won't show up for others you can't expect them to show up for you, although my bunch is gonna show up.

They've been shunned, they've been left out, they've been on the outside looking in and that's not always the most pleasant place to be.

No one wants to be left out.

We all want to belong to something, to know we are loved and valuable.  God created us for community, so it completely makes sense to want to be a part of something.

There are those who will tell you they are too busy, they've got too much going on.  We do too.

We've got children and jobs and bills and partners and all the same stuff going on as the ones who claim to be busy.

Willingness is the difference, laying down our lives for others is the difference.  We don't want to live all bottled up in our neat little organized worlds, we want it all.

We are the ones chasing everything God has for us.

It's more than the lives we are living, it's kingdom.

Jesus loved those no one else wanted, no one else loved, those who were shunned, mistreated, looked down on.  He loved them and He changed their lives forever.  Everyone He touched were healed and whole.  He didn't turn anyone away, not ever.  He supped with them, His very presence they hungered for, needed, the great I am.  They were His people, the ones He came for.

I can see Him sitting there, hearing their conversations, seeing the smiles on their faces, the awe and wonder that He would love them.  I can see them, the misfits.  Dirty faces and hands, no clean changing of clothes, hurt and broken people who desperately needed His love.

We are those misfits.

I'm still in awe that He would love me.  I'm still at that table supping, smiling, talking to those around me, enjoying the company and the meal and the presence of my Savior.  I see all my people there, my Ride or Die's, smiling, talking, doing the same thing I'm doing.

Do you remember when you were broken and felt unloved?

Invite the misfits.

I love the underdog

un·der·dog

ˈəndərˌdôɡ/

noun

1. a competitor thought to have little chance of winning a fight or contest.

   synonyms:

   long shot, dark horse, weaker one, little guy, David; More

   • a person who has little status in society.

I'm that person who feels bad for the losing team.

I'm that person who stands up to bullies for others.

I'm that person who is always going to stand for and root for the underdog.

God had to make me this way, because most people really don't care.

The world at large wants to see others lose, but me, I want to see everyone win.  I want to see everyone reach their dreams.

I have no problem with others around me doing better than I am.  I like to cheer everyone on.

They inspire me, they challenge me to do better, to do more, to be more.

I'm no hater and never have been.

A warrior fights for those who aren't able to fight for themselves.  A warrior protects the lives and hearts of others.

war·ri·or

ˈwôrēər/

noun

1. 1.

   (especially in former times) a brave or experienced soldier or fighter.

   synonyms:

   fighter, soldier, serviceman, combatant, mercenary "fearsome warriors"

Love never ever hurts others.

There's so much madness in the world, people being mean to one another, tearing one another apart, standing by and videoing others being hurt.

It breaks my heart.

There was a time when I apologized to all the people I used to go to school with.  My memory isn't that great because of the damage I've done to myself using drugs and there was this lie in my spirit that I'd been mean to others without cause.  Every single one of those people came back to me and told me stories where I protected them, where I stood up to the bully for them, where I righted a wrong for them.

I was amazed.

The same thing happened in the clubs.  They used to tell stories about me I couldn't believe, because I drank so bad I couldn't remember.  I asked them why they even liked me or talked to me and every one of their responses were, "You never were mean to me, you took care of the person who was being mean."

Loving people makes you want to protect them, to guard them from harm.  It makes you want to be kind to them, to do for them, to protect them from anyone who thinks otherwise.

When I stand before my Father, I'd rather find out I've been wrong about everything I've ever believed, than for Him to know I purposely hurt someone in His name.

I am a warrior and I love the underdog.

Love does not dishonor

1 Corinthians 13 New International Version (NIV)

13 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears.11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror;then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Footnotes:  I'd rather love people and find out I'm absolutely wrong than the Lord know I purposely hurt someone in His name.