Life is happening to everyone, we are all on a journey and certain parts of it are so painful. I'm the eternal optimist, know who I belong to, know He has great plans for me and I'm beginning to see some of these plans come to fruition, at long last. In the process I'm learning about loyalty, about being sensitive to others, about picking and choosing the best things to be involved in and I'm learning how vulnerable my own heart is to the actions of others.
Everyone wants to be supported, cheered on, valued and to have people on their team.
Lately, I've noticed a great deal of the exact opposite. I've seen those who claim to be sensitive to others, being self absorbed, only interested in what they are doing and want to do. They want everyone to support their causes and be involved in their stuff, but they pay no mind to everyone else.
God is bringing me to a place where He is showing me how He supports me and it's never through the people I am expecting it to be, it is always others, people outside my closest circles, people I never dreamed of and people I hardly know.
My heart is more than a little broken about this, but broken is good where God is concerned.
Even still it makes me not want to share with others, not mention things I would like to do, to withdraw to the depths of my own life, my own reality.
I'm not easily offended, or overly sensitive about things, it's just not my way, but when the hurt creeps in it's there and it's so difficult to get rid of.
I refuse to believe I give people too much credit, but more than a million times this has been said to me.
There are those who whole heartedly support one another, the whole ride or die thing. They hang out together, they go to one another's functions, they regularly pursue their relationships with one another.
All the while there are people on the outside looking in, some of them longing for those relationships, others feeling shut out, left out, excluded and forgotten.
This should not be so, but such is life.
In the end the only person who does not forget us, who does not make us feel excluded, overlooked, left out, or unloved is God. He is there for every moment, the good ones and the bad ones. He is there pouring out His love on us, knowing our hurt, our isolation and longings. He is the one who always says, "You are okay.", instead of asking. He is the one who always says, "You are lacking nothing." instead of do you need anything. He's the one who is there in the darkest of moments constantly reminding us of His love, the plans He has for us.
For this I am so grateful because for this moment in time I am hurt by people.
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