Run Like a Prodigal and the question God asked me this morning

Its gotten so hot lately I'm getting out really early in the morning, to do some things that need to be done, before the heat really starts warming up the asphalt.  I'm outside, all geared up, sunglasses, towel, christian internet radio going in my ears, the blower wide open.  What you should know is the whole facility is my home and I like my home to be clean and presentable so there are necessary evils that go along with that.  If you need a mental picture it's half the size of a football field and there is asphalt, lots of it.

Yesterday was father's day and had me feeling a certain kind of way because everyone seemed to have such great dads and had normal relationships, if a relationship of any kind can be normal, and here I was knowing what I know about my own dad and well, that's not what I'm talking about this morning.

Halfway down the aisle this song comes on telling you to "run like the prodigal" and that's when the tears started to freely flow down my cheeks.  The same thing happens in the car or truck sometimes, that moment when the dam breaks and God starts talking to me.

I let someone push me over the edge last week and before it was over with my last post was, "Kiss my tattooed ass!" and I left it there and went to bed.  When I got up the next morning I took it down and I don't know who saw it but it put me in a place of shame. 

I'm listening to this song and the tears are streaming down my face and He said to me, "Darlene how many times have you told someone to kiss your ass?" and I was stunned for a second.  Then I laughed, because it was so funny he would ask me that.  When I didn't say anything he said, "You've told other people lots of other things worse than that and you were still my girl then."

"I'm perfect sweety, you are redeemed.  I bought you out of this world when you'd already been in it for a while.  It had done things to you, you'd seen things, you had become a person with no boundaries and still I loved you.  You're still a little rough around some of the edges, you still have issues and until now you always stand so tall and proud for me.  Don't bow down to mistakes Darlene, you are still my child, I still have something so important for you to do.  Are you going to let a set back as small as this shut you down?  Look how far you've come and there is still a long way to go child, you better pick yourself up by your boot straps and get back on your job, because you still work for me."

How do you argue with God?  I'm not saying I haven't but how do you argue with Him when you know He is right?  I'm still releasing the dam, there are still tears pouring down my cheeks, but it's alright, it's all the stuff that has no room in me.  It's all the sorrow I carry around for everyone else, it's all the things I keep to myself until they have to come out to make room for all of it all over again. 

How many people can say God asked me how many people I've told to kiss my ass?  I know, I'm laughing too.  

He's amazing!  He just loves me more and more.  He keeps picking me back up and showing me the way.