God put this on my heart this morning, reminding me of where I came from, how I'm no where near where I'm going and what's right in front of me. What a journey it's been! I started in the streets, with nothing. By the time I came out of the streets, all the dogs had died or gone elsewhere, the cats were scattered from here to kingdom come and all I had of all the stuff was a leather jacket I found laying next to a dumpster, a duffle bag of clothes and a lot of bad memories. I was carrying a brand new bible, which I still have all these years later. It's covered in duct tape and a beautiful cover because I never had the strength to give it up long enough to have it recovered and it will stay that way until I'm long gone.
I'm reminded of where I came from this morning as a friend came to me telling me about a woman who is coming out of the street this weekend. She's going to have her own place, she needs stuff for her place and she needs lots of support, from many places if she is to survive. Most of all she will need the help of Jesus and people He places in her life.
I don't know her, but I used to be her.
When I think back, I find I am still that person, still that grateful and humbled by His love. I'm not the person I used to be but I am still that woman who has been rescued every day since then from a life that can only be described as pure hell.
My worst day since then is still my better than my best day out there.
I'm thinking of her, what it feels like, knowing that place and how it looks and feels and the opportunity that will grow from it. I remember that sigh of relief that escapes and eases it away. I remember the wonders of that time, the new experiences, the eye opening things that happened and the changing of the guard as my heart became set on something so much higher.
He's been so good to me! I could fill the world with all of it, if I could remember all of it, the things He's done for me since then.
Every time it rains, even after all these years I thank God I'm not in the street. When it's super cold outside, late at night, when I'm laying in my bed, I thank God I'm not still in the street.
It's a long journey back, but one I was so grateful and thankful to make. He walked with me every step of the way, He showed me His love every moment of every day. He stayed with me every breath and I am still in His presence and what a wonderful place to be!
I look at that little green truck sitting outside and thank Him for it, as I have done every day since April 2009. That truck is the nicest most reliable thing I've ever owned and by some other folk's standards that's pretty pathetic, but to me it's huge. It's a blessing! It's the best thing I've got and I have enjoyed having it so much.
I think about her, what its going to feel like when every one is gone and she has that moment where she stops and looks around and God whispers to her, "I did this for you." and her heart soars with the great joy that moment will bring. I think about the pride she will have in taking ownership of her life, how important her shower curtain will be to her, the towels and washrags someone gave her, the frying pan she will use to cook in her kitchen, small things we all take for granted until we need them.
I'm so happy for her, whatever her name is, whomever she may be, because God put someone as wonderful as my friend and many more in her path to make sure she begins the long journey back up and I pray, neither one of us ever take anything for granted.
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