I saw a boy I used to know yesterday. I call them all little boys, even the ones who are older than me. Everybody is little boys and girls in my world.
It broke my heart, him standing there, skinny as a rail, grinding his teeth and sweating like the world is about to end. It made me sick to my stomach for a second and then the pity washed over me.
You might think no one knows, but everyone who has been there knows, we don't even have to know what it is, we just know. He's all strung out. If he were anymore high he could have flown around the room.
I'm not judging him. My heart is broken for him, his wife, all those kids, the world at large.
I've been there. It's a tough road to travel.
I'm walking down other roads now.
One thing everyone seems to always overlook and or forget with people who previously had drug problems is you can't trust everyone with money. You can't give just anyone money. Money drives people over the edge. I've seen it over and over again.
I went to retrieve something that belonged to me from the building and he just happened to be there with three other people.
I was sad yet relieved it wasn't me standing there out of my mind.
I remember that. I remember thinking no one knew. In a lot of instances no one did know, but that's not the point, the minute I laid eyes on him I knew he was messed up.
Is anyone reaching out to him? Is anyone offering him any support?
It made me glad to be single, to have my peace, my sanity, what little bit of that there actually is and to not have to deal with anyone else's bullshit. I'm a full time job all by myself. There's no sense in doing dumb shit to get myself all jacked up, like falling in love or something.
I don't need anyone. I do just fine by myself.
I've got big plans.
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